Metaphysics say it. Science says it: the Universe is made out of energy. We are energy. All is energy.
When a baby is born, he is totally open. Energy (good and bad) flows through him without any protection; this is why it is advisable to keep the baby in the safety of the family home for a little while right after the birth – so that he is not exposed to negative energetic influences.
But as the baby grows up, he will learn to adapt and accommodate the social expectations in his environment, even if this means to compromise his clean energy; for instance, a baby will learn to do the things that bring back approval from the grown ups around him and so there will be areas of his personality that will have to be either adapted or repressed. This creates blocks in the energy field or aura of the child and as he grows up, the corresponding physical, mental and emotional symptoms will show an imbalance or shadow – a part of the personality that hasn’t got an outlet for its expression.
It is important to give our children unconditional love. Although this is a term widely used, I am not so sure if the consequences of actually not loving them this way are well understood:
To love a person unconditionally means that you love them no matter what they do or don’t do, what they achieve or don’t, whether they conform to your expectations of them or not. To love someone unconditionally means that you love them for who they are, not for what they do. When we love our children in a conditional way, we (as the term says it) condition their growth because they will do whatever is needed in order to conform to our expectations of them (at least while they are young). They need our love: this is the energy that feeds them emotionally and they cannot do without it.
Therefore, in order to survive, they will compromise who they are if we, parents, are not able to give them the freedom to become who they are meant to be. But sometimes giving them this freedom causes us anxiety and feelings of inadequacy for the things they are not able or don’t want to accomplish because we seem to see our children achievements as a reflection of our own failure or success.
Loving them this way means that we let go of control and we trust that they were born with a potential and an agenda, even if it is not understood by us. They have a natural gift or talent that is meant to be expressed in their life. It is very usual to try to get our children to accomplish the things that we couldn’t, even if this means that we are ignoring their real passions and talents because of our judgment that these are not good enough. We may tell ourselves that we are doing for their own good but the fact is that it is not always easy to trust their natural wisdom and allow them to flow in the direction they were born to.
Unfortunately, this has been done throughout generations. The results vary from insatisfaction at work, an inability to create strong relationships or simply having a feeling of being lost, of wasting our life to a certain extent. Therefore it is important that we are aware of whether we are passing on our karma to our children or whether we are able to break the family ancestral emotional limitations and help our children create a new reality.
In general, people will go to many extents in order to gain or extract energy from others. This is specially the case when people are not grounded or centred, and this happens when their connection to a higher Source is not strong – if our energy has been so compromised over the years that we need more than we can generate via meditation, faith, connection to nature, self-development work, etc, as it is explained in The Celestine Prophecy (by James Redfield), we will adopt one or more of the 4 energy manipulation techniques described in the book as follows:
There is the passive Aloof, an individual who will extract other people’s energy by waiting for them to draw him out of his passivity. The victim or poor-me is an individual who excels at making others feel guilty and pity him, therefore driving them to take responsibility for his life. The Intimidator will get everyone to pay attention to him by force of loudness, unexpected outbursts or even physical strength and has the centre of the stage by making others feel afraid or conscious. And finally, the Interrogator will break down your spirit, and create self-doubt by questioning all your activities and motivations and forcing you to justify yourself to him.
Depending on what role our parents play, we will choose the same emotional pattern (which will cause the typical head on arguments) or one of the opposite patterns (e.g. if a parent plays an aggressive role, we will chose a passive one in order to get out of the line of fire by going unnoticed). When we have children of our own, we will play the same roles we always played and the chain of events will perpetuate itself… unless, this is, we raise our awareness and refuse to play any of these roles. When we are able to break the chain of karmic legacy and we are able to generate all the energy that we need by ourselves without attempting to take it from others, we are able to create non-co-dependent relationships. This requires emotional intelligence, awareness, personal growth and an evolved spiritual identity. Then we are able to love others unconditionally because we have no expectations and therefore there are no disappointments; we can accept others as they are without interfering in their development but supporting them to become stronger on who they already are.
On the other hand, not all the energy sources are the same. In the words of Dr Christine Page in her book Spiritual Alchemy, we find that humans run on different energy sources, some more expensive than others, some cleaner than others.
Expensive energy is that which is not very efficient; we produce a great output in order to obtain a small result. At that point we feel that we struggle and that life doesn’t go our way. We feel that everything we do is tiring and we don’t seem to be able to find time, energy or peace to do what really feeds our souls.
According to Dr Christine Page, these energy sources are, in order of less to more efficiency, first, emotional energy (expressed as hoping, wishing, desiring, wanting), is a semi-conscious energy and commonly used in power games where one person gains at the expense of another. (Energy cost: 75% outgoing, 25% in return and energy is always lost despite an apparent win). Second, mind power energy (expressed through willing, trying, bargaining, believing or thinking), employs increasing levels of conscious intention but on a negative level, energy is lost through stubbornness and the tendency to lock horns with a similarly wilful individual. (Energy cost: 50% outgoing, 50% in return). Finally, Knowing from the place of the heart (compassion) and third eye (detached wisdom), expressed also as allowing and flowing. The strength now comes from within. Personality and Soul work as one with clarity of perception, connection to right timing and an optimal use of energy without waste. (Energy cost: 25% outgoing, 75% in return).
The two biggest contributors to the energetic feeding of our children (and to anyone’s, for that matter) are time, attention and nutrition. Because of the way of the modern world, we have great demands put on our time so this is very scarce; and because we need to fit such busy schedules in such limited time, it is very common to split our attention into several areas. We don’t even realise that we are almost unable to focus our full attention into one thing, without rushing, just in a contemplative and patient manner in which we can actually fully grow out of that experience.
Regarding nutrition, foodstuff has an energy or vibration. Since the new children that are arriving at the planet (indigo and star children) are very sensitive, they will often refuse to eat foodstuff with dead or incompatible energy (e.g. man-made or pre-cooked). And if they do eat it, they may develop some symptoms (e.g. flux, acidity, food intolerances…) that will demonstrate that the vibration of the food that they are ingesting doesn’t match their high energies. So before we actually accuse them of being difficult, let’s consider this fact!
And not just the food that we are feeding our children but the level of presence of the person who is feeding the child is also important. When we are feeding our children thinking of the many things that we are still to get done that day and wish for them to eat quickly, they pick up our uptight manner and feel (or know) that they are being a nuisance, an obstacle. So, for instance, if they pause for a break, or have wind, or feel like chatting in between bites, we become impatient; we are not sure if they want to continue eating or they have had enough, but it is likely that a natural break during a meal becomes a battle of wills and ends up in tears.
And what about breast feeding? This is one major issue nowadays.
On the one hand, the great majority of the population have created such lifestyles that it is impossible to stop working for a lengthy period of time. Our financial responsibilities are such that we are unable to simplify our lives and reduce our monthly expenses, therefore creating a window of opportunity for us to look after our children ourselves during at least the first couple of years of his life.
On the other hand, most women feel that they don’t have milk or that they are unable to breastfeed, but sometimes we should really look inside our motives and we may find that in our minds, we don’t want to breastfeed because the sacrifice and the limitations that this will impose in our hard-earned lifestyles are too much. It is unlikely that we work out a plan to reduce our financial responsibilities before the baby arrives and once he does arrive, we think that within a few months, our lives will be as they were before. And we are shocked when we realise that this may not be the case.
If we were to create the time and energy necessary for the child, we might find that we would indeed produce milk. Let’s not forget, of course, that the nutritional and stress levels of the mother may affect her production of milk. But I think that there is a combination of psychological, emotional and physical factors that affect the outcome of using the most natural way that exists of feeding a newborn. The factors are so complex that the level of guilt, responsibility and sacrifice intermingle in a way that make it almost impossible for many mothers to actually breastfeed, missing out in the potential for an incredible bond between mother and child.
And this is so despite the well documented benefits of breastfeeding, such as a reduction of infections and of a full array of diseases including lymphoma and carcinomas, maturity and strength of the baby’s immune system and faster and better developed intestines, among others.
But let’s not forget that breastfeeding also helps mothers by contracting their uterus effortlessly, creating less postpartum bleeding, improved bone strength and a reduced risk of ovarian cancer, among others.
Time and attention seem closely interwoven in our everyday busi-ness, creating that less-than-desirable situation where we are not fully present when we interact with our children. Through our minds rush the many other things that we have to accomplish or get done that day so we don’t feed baby giving him all the time he needs (we don’t feel we have that luxury!). But as usual, when we give less than what the child needs, we are using a double-edged sword: the child finds that two can play the same game and becomes a very efficient manipulators. We may find that the child learns to use food times as a weapon to attract the energy that mum reluctantly gives him and he creates difficult feeding times. Mum may find herself running after him around the house, hoping he will eat at least one bite but baby may refuse to eat more than one bite in the one room, or even from the one meal!
Parents may also try to make up for their lack of presence by buying toys (that they like, never mind if the child needs them; sometimes I feel that with babies, less is more!) and will present these toys to baby, one after another, with the speed of lightning. The parents are excited for the baby but baby doesn’t have time to focus on one single thing for any length of time. Parents may say that his attention span is really short or that he has an attention-deficit disorder. But if baby doesn’t have enough time to assimilate a full cycle of learning from any one object and if his learning gets interrupted by swapping toys too quickly and too often, then we may find that again, we are going against what nature intended.
In the worst case scenario, parents may feel that baby needs to be entertained all the time and that we need to give him something to do. It is an illness of our times that many people can’t spend time by themselves (because they don’t know the person inside?) and that we fill our schedules to such an extent that we are in a continuous roller coaster. What or who are we running from? If we feel that if we don’t do things all the time we are not accomplishing enough… we are then becoming human doings instead of human beings! And so, as we pass these values onto our children, we label them hyperactive because they have not learnt the basic and necessary skill of spending time by themselves, contemplating, integrating information, learning alone, resting or just being.
I don’t say it is an easy business that of raising a child. I am mother of one myself and I must say that I couldn’t do this again! I found the experience incredibly challenging, maybe because my whole family are abroad and I was faced with all the different stages of the growth of the baby by myself.
My partner was working, so he was only available in the evenings and during weekends. Either way, my intention is not to get parents to feel inadequate or guilty but to raise the awareness of the fact that it is important to actually plan the arrival of a child (even though nothing in this world can prepare you for it but just going through it!) in terms of energy availability, presence of being, patience, staying power, and many other spiritual skills.
And so I feel that the majority of the parents don’t consider these issues before hand. Most couples will think of the pram and the cot, the books and the toys, the physical stuff… but in the end, the child will remember the lazy times playing on the beach or in the park, the games, the laughter; the look into his mother’s eyes when he is feeding looking for safety; looking for the acknowledgment that he is the most important thing in the world. And so we, parents, need to demonstrate it, not just say it, for the child will pick up even the slightest thought and feeling that we go through.
If there is one single factor that will produce a happy, well adjusted and successful child is the development of his self-esteem. And this is built over the long term with parents that are able to hold the feeling when the feeling is too unbearable to be held, parents that can break-down their own limitations and established patterns in order to accept the gift of the new beginning that each child gives us.